The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
