"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
