Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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