I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
