oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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