RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
