I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
