She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
