turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
