Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
