yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
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I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
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Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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