How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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