All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
