they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
