Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize