I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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