Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
