wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
