Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
