SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
A Guy Sent A Woman What May Be The Craziest Breakup Text Ever
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
28 Completely Safe For Work Pictures Of Genitals
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
this is an emotional support booty call
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?