Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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