see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
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were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
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At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.