just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Please don't give away my fajitas
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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