I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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