I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize