so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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