Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
