I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
