Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
