Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
