is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
