i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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