If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
