So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize