I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
