Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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