her vagine was all disorganized.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
