Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Randomize