i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
