Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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