The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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