the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.