I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
it's like iHOP with fire
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
