Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements