How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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