some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
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