you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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