i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
only if we run a train.
done.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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