Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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