scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Mom said you looked used
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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