is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
