is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
