I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
