There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
