HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
