she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
