Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize