you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
