My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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